“She makes coverings for her bed, she is clothed in fine linen and purple.” (Prov. 31:22)

On Decency in Christian Circles

Decency, especially in Christian circles has not been an easy topic to talk or write about.

It seems that decency is subjective- it depends on the individual, his environment, and the prevailing culture.

This is why I want to limit my reflections on decency to the Bible. I’m doing this with the hope that you and I can seek to align with the will of God in how we express our decency.

Google Dictionary defines decency as behavior that conforms to accepted standards of morality and respectability.

I hence feel it necessary to confine our discussion on decency to dressing as we reflect on the Proverbs 31 woman’s apparel.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Because we are tracking the Proverbs 31 woman, learning as much as we can in acknowledging that this is God’s will for us as women, we will look at this particular verse against the backdrop of the entire Bible.

This Biblical backdrop that will be a helpful foundation for the 5 principles I’m about to share with you.

The Old Testament Priest

It was of great interest to me to note that the priest’s apparel in the Old Testament was fine linen.

Purple was also known in the Scriptures as a royal color worn by priests and kings.

Let’s focus a little more on the priest.

The priest was not to wear carelessly or the way he wanted. Priests had certain specifications from the Lord as to how they were to dress.

This is how seriously God took the priestly office because the priests were to represent the people and their sacrifices to God.

The Priest in the New Testament

Coming to the New Testament, the priestly office goes to a whole new level.

Through the blood of Jesus, for the child of God, we have all been made a kingdom and priests unto God.

We no longer need one man to represent us to God. The Bible tells us that we who were far have been brought near through the blood of Jesus. (Eph. 2:13)

We have access to the Most Holy place through the blood of Jesus and by a new and living way that is his body. (Heb. 10:19-20)

Peter crowns this by saying these words:

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1Pet. 2:9)

The subsequent expectation is that we are to live by a higher standard. We are a priesthood of believers who are aware that we are representing a holy God to the world.

As a priest unto God, for instance, I can not just dress the way I want. I dress unto God, for his glory.

How then ought we to conduct ourselves when it comes to decency?

We are to live by a higher standard. We are to glorify God in every aspect of our lives as women, which includes our dressing.

Freedom in Christ

I would be turning cultic if I define for you how and what you should wear.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. (Gal. 5:1)

Keep in mind though that freedom without boundaries is no freedom at all. It actually is very dangerous.

Consider this illustration of a river.

A river is useful as long as it is flowing within its boundary. The moment a river breaks its banks due to heavy rain, for instance, it can be very destructive.

I’m certain you’ve probably witnessed, or seen on television the adverse effects of such a river- loss of lives and property as well as displaced households.

This is simply because the raging waters of that river mercilessly swept across a plain carrying with it whatever was in its way.

The Christian Woman’s Boundary

Even for the Christian, our freedom in Christ has a boundary. That boundary is God’s Word.

I must exercise my freedom within this God-ordained boundary that directs every action that I take, including how I dress as a woman.

I must ask, what does the Bible say concerning how I am to dress? Would Jesus be pleased with what I am wearing today?

Let’s now get into the 6 guiding principles as we trust the Lord to be decent in our physical apparel.

1. Dress in such a Way That You Will Glorify God

When you read the Bible, you’ll understand that it is God’s will that all we do must be for the glory of God.

If I truly belong to God, I will trust him that my dressing will bring him glory.

I have had women argue that God is more concerned about the inward, not the outward.

One of the Scriptures that sobers me concerning what I do as a woman is Titus 2:3-5. Paul stipulates how older women should live. The older women are to train the younger women in certain things stated in that passage. He finishes off this scripture by saying these words:

“So that no one will malign the Word of God.” (Titus 2:5b)

Did you know that you can malign the name of God by how you dress?

How many have turned away from believing in the Lord Jesus because of the dressing of some in the church?

Make no mistake, they will stand judged before God for rejecting Jesus. You, however, do not want to be one of those who contributed to their turning away from the Lord.

Keep in mind that even in our dressing, we are a letter, read by all men. All things concerning us will be read by all men. (2Cor. 3:2)

Our dressing must therefore glorify God. Those who “read” us must see the Lord in our lives and in our dressing.

2. Dress in Such a Way that Your Words Will Match Up with Your Dressing

You don’t want to dress in a way that those around you see a disconnect between how you are dressed and your words.

For instance, you can not preach about holiness while dressed in a seductive way that causes the men to focus on your body contours, their minds going in different directions while others are trying so hard to maintain pure thoughts as you speak.

Men are visual. However hard we argue as women, the truth is, there’s a way you will dress and you will send some of your listeners on their knees in repentance regarding what was going through their minds as you talked.

My husband likes to define decency this way:

Decency is when a woman dresses in a way that I will focus on her face and what she’s saying rather than her body.

I take what he is saying seriously because he is a man. My own daughters take what their dad says seriously because he is a man.

Dear women, let’s not just take the compliments of the women around us when we know that our dressing has gone too low from the shoulders down or too high from the knees up.

Let’s ask instead. How would Jesus have me dress so that I will not cause these “little ones” in his kingdom to stumble?

As godly women, let’s not make it difficult for our brothers in the Lord to pursue holiness and purity.

Let’s seek to glorify God as women with our words, thoughts, and deeds.

3. Dress in Such a Way That Your Home Will Be Reflective of Your Dressing

The Proverbs 31 woman is not only dressed in fine linen and purple, but she also makes coverings for her bed.

Her bedroom is reflective of her decency. If the bedroom is decent and beautiful, it will naturally follow that the rest of her home is beautiful too.

Who she is and how she looks goes beyond her to her abode.

You might know a woman or two who look great. When you get an opportunity to visit their home, you cannot connect this beautifully dressed woman with the mess you can see that is her home.

You and I need to trust God that as he works on us to be decent, this will extend to the other areas of our lives including our homes.

An incident comes to mind as I write this. We once visited the home of a woman I knew while evangelizing.

My husband and I endured through the visit. We couldn’t trace where the stench around us was coming from. The members of the household didn’t even seem to notice the stench.

We couldn’t connect this fairly well-dressed woman with what we could see in her home.

As women who are seeking to be Proverbs 31 women, we want to trust the Lord to work in us so that every aspect of our lives will glorify God when it comes to our decency.

4. Beyond Our Dressing, You and I Want to Keep Ourselves Physically Clean

Consider one of the illustrations we began with of the priests in the Old Testament.

Before they were dressed in linen garments, they had to wash their bodies with water.

I find this action demonstrating to us a very important lesson in cleanliness as women who are also priests unto God if we know the Lord Jesus Christ.

Discoveries over the years have revealed that cleanliness enhances our health.

It was even interesting to note that during the Covid-19 pandemic, the fact that we got accustomed to washing our hands constantly, health centers in our country noticed a significant reduction in certain diseases.

A historic example that I happen to know because my mother is a retired nurse was the story of Florence Nightingale, the lady with the Lamp as she was called.

Cleanliness in handling the injuries of wounded soldiers made the difference between life and death for some of them.

Decency for the woman without physical cleanliness misses a critical aspect of our womanhood to the glory of God.

Cleanliness should cover every aspect of a woman’s life including her home and her surroundings.

5. Dress With the Realization That Decency Begins from the Heart

Peter reminds us that our beauty should not be that of our outward adornment. It should be the inner unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that is of great value in God’s sight. (1Pet. 3:3-4)

God also reminds Samuel in 1Sam. 16:7 that the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.

However beautifully and decently dressed I am, if I am ugly as it were on the inside, God will not be pleased with me.

I want to keep working as a woman on the inner me. I want to keep walking with God in discipleship. I want to remain in fellowship with God in his Word and prayer day by day.

I want to trust the Lord to keep washing me with water through his Word as I take it in, (Eph. 5:26) convicting me of any sin I may have done, so I can confess it to God and repent of it, so I can be found clean in his sight.

And because my inner beauty is more valuable in God’s sight compared to my outward beauty, I want to trust him to have a clean heart before him always.

Any wise woman wants to be certain that she’s beautiful, not only on the outside but also on the inside as well.

Let’s trust the Lord as women to be decent, in obedience to God’s Word.

You can also purchase our book covering the Proverbs 31 passage comprehensively on Amazon here. I trust the book will be a blessing as well.