Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above Rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)
While most people think that the whole of proverbs 31 focuses on “the noblewoman,” it is only vs. 10-31 that focuses on this subject. Today, and going forward to the end of this series, we are going to zoom our camera on these latter verses.
From verses 10 through to 31, we get a peek into this woman’s day-to-day life; we get to know a little about what her husband and children think of her. We get to know what a noble character entails.
Let’s now get to our first verse and phrase above.
“Who can find a virtuous woman?” (Prov. 31:10a)
This statement presumes that such a woman is rare; there are not many of her kind. She will not be found in all the usual places.
Finding has that aspect of looking for, or discovering something. This “something” might have even been there but you were not seeing it.
Recently, our daughter needed to open our backdoor. She began searching for the keys around the kitchen. She turned to ask me if I’d seen the keys now that they weren’t where we usually kept them. I turned and saw them on the kitchen counter, close to where she was standing. I pointed them out to her.
The keys had been right there as she frantically searched for them.
Women of noble character are also “right there” as we frantically search for them. As He always does, God hides them in the hollow of his hand. They are so hidden in Christ with God (“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Col. 3:3) that unless He points them out to us, we may miss them altogether.
I for instance heard of this young man who suddenly realized that this young woman, with whom they’d gone on mission for the Lord; not once, but countless times, was the wife he’d been trusting God for!
She’d been there all along yet not there. A paradox of sorts, but I trust this illustrates the rareness of the woman of noble character.
So, this woman of noble character, how do we find her? How does a man find her? What’s the secret to finding her?
Proverbs 19:14 gives us a clue:
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Keep in mind that prudence, the character attributed to the wife here, was one of the descriptive characters of the Proverbs 31 wife in the Proverbs 31 passage.
A verse in point is verse 25: She can laugh at the days to come.
As you may know, prudence has to do with making wise decisions in the Lord with the future in mind.
What would a wise woman want to do to be found a woman of noble character?
A wise woman must “hide” in God. She must wholly surrender to God. She must let the Lord work in her, making her into a woman of noble character.
Only God knows whether she will be most fulfilled as a single woman or as a married woman. Should it please him that she should get married, he will show her who the right man is for her because that man too is in him.
This making process continues even in marriage because she is in him and God is constantly at work in her, just as he was at work in her when she was single.
She needs him to continue working in her to be the woman, wife, and mother he wants her to be.
What does this mean for you and me as women who are desirous to be noble virtuous women?
Well, let’s reflect on 3 key realities that you and I must consider.
- Your formation or making will happen in obscurity:
I have gone to great length to discuss why you and I must hide as it were in the Lord; whether as a single woman or a married woman. Let me however say this:
Far too many women in our present time and generation are seeking the limelight.
With the explosion of media, personalities we admired and only read about in books for instance have now come to the fore.
We look at them and imagine that their formation is happening in media; in the limelight.
We forget that their formation never started there nor is it happening there, particularly for those who know and belong to our God.
No! Their formation happened and continues to happen in obscurity; as they keep pace with the Lord. Their formation is happening in the secret place with God. Consider the verse below:
“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” (Ps. 9:1)
Many genuine men and women of God who seem to be in the limelight were never seeking the limelight in the first place. Captivated by the love and the goodness of the Lord, they were gazing at his courts, astounded by his glory and basking in his grace.
From him, they learned who he is and started serving as he serves. Like slaves with their masters, they learned. They were more than glad to just serve the Master. Exuberant joy flowed from their hearts when the Master revealed that they were sons and heirs of the eternal kingdom.
Their all-consuming passion was to follow the Master and make his name great among the nations.
Jesus Christ, our role model, though surrounded by crowds, never sought to be popular. Again, and again, we read of him spending time with His heavenly Father, away from the public eye. On several occasions, he would spend whole nights on the mount of olives, with God.
The miracles, signs, and wonders He did happened as He was led by God’s Spirit. The power to do these came from above as He communed with His heavenly Father.
Keep in mind that He was 100% God and 100% man. In His human nature, just like us, He needed God.
We can learn from our role model, even the Lord Jesus Christ, that our making will happen in obscurity, as we spend time with our heavenly Father too.
Apart from Him, Jesus, we can do nothing. whatever therefore we do apart from Him will never yield eternal fruit.
The limelight can deceive us into thinking we are doing okay. Only in the secret place with our heavenly Father do we find the perspective we need to keep to the narrow path.
Remember too that I am not talking about you being in the kind of obscurity that is motivated by fear and a sense of low self-esteem. This kind of obscurity is self-imposed and self-destructing.
The obscurity I’m talking about is the kind where you as a woman know who you are in Christ and whose you are; that you belong to God.
You then go about your business, deliberately seeking to deeply relate with God, remaining in fellowship with His people, and then trusting him for God-ordained connections with his people; connections that will propagate his purposes in and through you.
- Your discovery will be God-ordained
Strange that far too many young women are using dressing, looks, and all manner of theatrics, as it were to “advertise” themselves.
With the proliferation of the media, photos of how we look have dominated our media spaces.
What of editing Apps that can rid us of that ‘Ugly’ pimple or dark spot, brightening us up to look like the models we so often admire?
While it may not be wrong to enhance your looks if the motive is to get discovered by a prospective husband, then we will be going about it the wrong way.
Might we end up attracting the wrong crowd and hence the wrong husband in the process?
Just like a woman of noble character is hidden in the Lord, so is a man of noble character. God must point him out to you, just like I pointed out the keys to my daughter when she asked.
More often than not, a husband, or wife for that matter, may not present themselves in the manner we are anticipating. Even the Jews, to date, are still waiting for Messiah to come. They missed their time of visitation. He came in a manner they least expected Him to come.
The media, for instance, is the worst of places to expect to find a noble husband. Go to the one to whom such a husband belongs- God. Ask him, then continue minding God’s business in His vineyard. In the fulness of time, God will show you who is the right husband for you.
We will talk a little more about this in the next blog. My point though is, don’t get desperate. Don’t seek to draw attention to yourself to be found out.
Look at this biblical case in point: The man Rebekah was ordained by God to get married to was not even living in her country of origin. Only God could connect her to Isaac as He did. (Gen. 24)
God will cause those who are His to be discovered by those He wants to connect them with. Whether a marriage partner, a business connection, or a person who needs your help; leave it to God. He will do it perfectly well.
- The more…the rarer…. the more precious!
The more the Lord works on you the rarer you become the more precious you turn out!
God is always at work, working in each one of us to will and to act according to His purpose. (Phil 2:13)
Just like gold or silver has to go through a thorough refining process for us to appreciate its preciousness, worth, and beauty, so must we be worked on by God. So must He refine and purify us?
Job talks of “coming forth as gold” when God has tested him. (Job 23:10)
This is not a quick fix hurried process. It is as we remain in the Master’s hand, like clay in the hand of the potter, that He works in us, making us into His vessel suitable to carry out His will and purpose. (Is. 64:8)
It’s not yet been made known what we shall be. We however know that when Christ Jesus appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. Having this hope in us, we purify ourselves even as He is pure. (1John3:2-3)
Paul reminds us when we came to Christ, that not many of us were wise by human standards; not many of us were influential; not many of us were of noble birth. (1 Cor. 1:26)
He has chosen to use us despite this. He is making us. he is working in us. he is forming us as women to be the women of noble character he wants us to be.
It is therefore not in vain for you and me to be in the place of obscurity. It is not in vain to yield and surrender to the Lordship of Christ so He can work in you and me.
The verses above speak of who we are becoming as virtuous women beyond this earth. We are getting reminded that our formation is not just about the here and now. It is also about there and then…our eternity!
We shall then know that our formation was never in vain. We were getting prepared to experience and enjoy eternity with God.
A woman of noble character, who can find? Where do we find her?
We will find her in the Lord.
Remain hidden in the Lord, woman of God. That’s the best place to be… the best, for your formation.
(In case you’d like more insight into the Proverbs 31 chapter, you can buy our book based on this passage right here on Amazon.)