How do I become a Proverbs 31 woman?

This is a question many Christian women ask as they seek to align their lives with God’s will and embrace biblical womanhood.

Over the years, I’ve studied Proverbs 31 extensively and even taught countless women through our three-month discipleship program on Biblical womanhood dubbed Formations of a Noble Woman, Proverbs 31 Program.

This passage offers profound wisdom and practical guidance, inspiring women to grow into the women God calls them to be.

Thankfully, Proverbs 31 doesn’t describe an actual historical woman but rather an ideal—a blueprint of God’s design for a virtuous woman.

This means becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is a gradual journey to a destination. It’s a process that requires faith, intentionality, and reliance on God’s grace.

In this blog post, I’ve outlined 8 characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman that can guide your journey.

These qualities serve as practical steps to help you grow into the woman God designed you to be.

Embrace Mentoring Relationships

The wisdom of Proverbs 31 originated from a mother teaching her son, King Lemuel. This highlights the importance of learning from older, godly women.

One of my key verses in the Bible concerning womanhood is Titus 2:3-5. This little passage encourages older women to train younger women in godliness, helping them live as godly wives, mothers, and disciples of Christ.

Several years ago, God connected me with an older godly woman who became a “Titus 2:3-5” older woman to me. In short, she became my mentor.

She taught me how to have a vibrant relationship with Jesus. I learned countless lessons from her about running a home, being hospitable, and ministering to others.

She became my go-to resource person, answering many of my questions about life, relationships, and ministry.

Action Step: Seek out a mentor—someone who is spiritually mature and can guide you in your faith journey. Learning from their experiences can help you grow faster and avoid pitfalls.

Value the Power of Obscurity

What is obscurity? It’s the state of being unknown or unnoticed.

A Proverbs 31 woman develops her character in the secret places—through prayer, studying God’s Word, and faithfully serving, even when no one is watching.

Character built in obscurity is like the foundation of a skyscraper: strong, deep, and able to withstand life’s pressures.

A wife of noble character, who can find? (Prov.31:10) She’s not easily found in all the usual places. She’s hidden in the Lord.

Don’t look at the godly women you see in the limelight on TV or social media and think you’ll be made in the public gallery.

These women were made in the secret place as they spent time with God.

God eventually thrust them in public spaces like where you see them, to minister to others and draw them towards himself.

Remain in obscurity, in the place of fellowship and communion with God, to be made into the woman God wants you to be.

Action Step: Prioritize your time with God daily. Create a habit of prayer, fasting, and Bible study to strengthen your spiritual foundation.

Commit to Growing in Character

Becoming a Proverbs 31 woman involves intentional growth.

The passage emphasizes virtues like diligence, kindness, wisdom, and compassion—all aspects of godly character.

A godly character takes time to build. It takes resolve and commitment towards becoming who God is making you to be as a woman.

It’s about sometimes humbly admitting that God will let others around me point out areas of weakness in me, then willingly trusting him to change without defending myself.

Character growth and transformation is about having structures in place such as accountability to help me work on a character issue.

For instance, when my daughter tells me a shout at her when I’m angry, I must trust that God is using her to point out a character flaw I need to work on.

“She brings him (her husband) good not harm all the days of her life.” (Prov.31:12)

This verse represents a woman who has committed to letting God work in her so that her actions will consistently bless others.

Is this easy in a fallen world? Of course not! It is however possible in God, who keeps working on us to form us into the women he has ordained we become. Let’s depend on him.

Action Step: Identify areas of your character that need improvement. Pray, seek accountability, and take practical steps to grow. Whether it’s managing anger, overcoming laziness, or fostering patience, trust God to transform you.

Be Teachable and Eager to Learn

A Proverbs 31 woman is not born perfect—she learns and grows throughout her life.

To develop the skills, wisdom, and capabilities described in Proverbs 31, you must cultivate a teachable spirit.

Apart from God-given natural gifts and talents, no one is born with skills. As we encounter challenging situations that require skills to navigate, we get trained in the skills we need.

Identifying what God has called us to do and the skills that will help us accomplish the task efficiently and effectively is key.

The Proverbs 31 woman demonstrated this. She had skills that involved working with her hands, homemaking, and entrepreneurial skills. This helped her to be fruitful and successful.

Action Step: Be a lifelong learner. Study God’s Word, read books on Biblical womanhood, and embrace opportunities to learn new skills.

Work Hard with Diligence

The Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies diligence. She wakes up early, works with her hands, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her industriousness blesses her family and community.

In today’s world, distractions like social media can hinder our productivity, causing us to waste precious hours each day scrolling and watching social media. Resist these temptations and focus on meaningful work.

Social media gives us a false notion that the success of those we watch just happened.

Many of us have misunderstood working smart to mean not working hard.

We think our heroes and heroines on social media became successful by doing some viral crowd-attracting gimmicks on social media, and… voila! They are making millions.

Very rarely will virality bring success. If anything, the godliness, experience, and tenacity gained on one’s way up is what will keep them there despite the ups and downs of life.

This is why becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is about learning to embrace work and valuing diligence as a virtue.

Action Step: Evaluate your daily habits. Eliminate time-wasting activities and dedicate yourself to hard work that honors God.

Know and Pursue Your God-Given Mission

The Proverbs 31 woman lived with purpose. She managed her household, cared for the needy, and stewarded her resources wisely—all while fulfilling her God-given mission.

Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.

God has created each of us with a purpose. When we are aware of this, we will seek to align our lives to this purpose.

As you see yourself impacting others and providing a conducive environment for them to thrive the way the Proverbs 31 woman did, you’re living with purpose as God ordained. You’re living life to the full.

When I understood God’s will to see young women become all that God ordained them to be, I began aligning to this by fellowshipping with God in his Word and prayer, learning from older godly women, reading books to grow, and learning skills that would help me to be fruitful.

I now minister to young women through teaching, training, and equipping them with knowledge and skill so they too can experience all that God intended for them.

Action Step: Pray for clarity on your purpose. Align your time, energy, and resources with God’s calling for your life.

Focus on Eternal Values

In a world filled with distractions and fleeting pleasures, a Proverbs 31 woman prioritizes eternal values.

This woman knows that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. She therefore lives with eternity in mind.

This perspective influences her decisions, relationships, and priorities. She invests in what truly matters: her family, her faith, and her relationship with God.

In a world that is offering us more and more of the good life if we fall for its demands, living with eternity in mind is not going to be easy.

Choosing to invest in your children, for instance, rather than a lucrative career that will take you away from home for extended periods of time thereby foregoing the “good life” will take courage and a resoluteness that can only come from a heart living in light of eternity.

May God give you and I the courage to say yes to him and his purposes, choosing to live with eternity in mind.

Action Step: Regularly evaluate your priorities. Are they aligned with eternal values? Make adjustments to ensure your life reflects God’s purposes.

Trust in God’s Process

Becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is a journey of faith. It requires trusting God to transform you over time.

Don’t get intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman’s qualities to an extend that you want to give up, imagining you’ll never become a Proverbs 31 woman.

Don’t let fear or discouragement keep you from pursuing this high calling. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. God’s got your back, dear friend.

Even a tiny step in the process represents progress from God’s perspective.

Ultimately, when we look back, we will see the hand of God that was at work all the while, making us into all that he wants us to be.

Action Step: Surrender your journey to God. Trust Him to mold you into the woman He created you to be.

Final Thoughts

The Proverbs 31 woman inspires us to embrace godliness, wisdom, and purpose.

As you pursue these characteristics, remember that the journey takes time.

With faith, diligence, and a teachable spirit, you can grow into the woman God has designed you to be.

Are you ready to take the next step in becoming a Proverbs 31 woman? Start today by embracing these characteristics and trusting God to guide your journey.

Share this post! If this inspired you, encourage another woman by sharing this message of hope and growth in Christ.

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman: 8 Essential Characteristics for Biblical Womanhood

How do I become a Proverbs 31 woman?

Embrace Mentoring Relationships

Value the Power of Obscurity

Commit to Growing in Character

Be Teachable and Eager to Learn

Work Hard with Diligence

Know and Pursue Your God-Given Mission

Focus on Eternal Values

Trust in God’s Process

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