Being a godly mother takes more than saying I’m a Christian.
Being a godly mom is not about going to church, hosting Bible study, sharing at the Bible study, or being part of a women’s ministry fellowship at church.
There must be more to being a godly mom than any of the things we do that identify us as Christians.
So, what does it mean to be a godly mom?
To be godly is to exhibit a character that stems from a heart that is submitted to the will of God.
A godly person will seek to align their thoughts, words, and deeds to God’s Word.
When those around this kind of person interact with them, they cannot but see someone who lives to please God despite the challenges and limitations around them that characterize a fallen world.
Godliness is built over time. It is a process. It is the work of the Holy Spirit in a woman who is submitted to God.
As I share these 7 ways explaining how a mom can be godly, remember that God is working in you. The seven ways I’m sharing are about you cooperating with God to provide an enabling environment for this to happen. It’s God who works in us to will and to do according to His good purpose.
Why is it so important for a mom to be godly?
God has used you and me to bring children into this world. We are the ones who will spend the greatest time with them in the early formative impressionable years of their lives.
We might be the ones God may use the most to point our children to him.
Our words and actions will speak very loudly to our children, helping them understand who God is. What we say will be reinforced by what we do.
How our children will act in the future might be dictated by how we act towards them. Our godliness will be the initial foundation shaping their behavior and character.
This is why we must strive to be godly as mothers and believers in the Lord Jesus.
The Bible commands us to train ourselves to be godly. (1Tim.4:7)
So, how can you and I train ourselves to be godly? How can we cultivate godliness as moms?
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We must be teachable
A mom who wants to be godly must have an insatiable desire to know God and his ways. We will talk more about this in our last point.
This woman must not only be willing to know God more and more, she must be willing to learn from others.
She must have the humility to admit she doesn’t know everything. She must understand that God uses others, including her children, to help her learn and grow.
I’m grateful for the ministry of an older woman in my life a few years ago who trained me how to parent my children.
As a single woman, I would visit her often and observe how she trains her children in godliness. I would take note of how she corrected them too.
I was fascinated at how she taught chores to her children in ways that they would end up loving and valuing work, not seeing work as a punishment.
She was in my life when I got married, got children, and began raising them.
She recommended books and people I could learn from in being a godly woman.
I’m indebted to her to date, knowing that God used her to form my character as I trusted him to be a godly woman and mother.
Let God use other women around you. These are women I call Titus 2 Women. (from Titus 2:3-5) God uses Titus 2 women to train us to be the women he wants us to be.
God will more often than not use your children as they grow older to help you to be godly.
My children will often point out a character flow in me. I sometimes get defensive, unaware that God is using them to help me trust him to deal with the character issue.
Being teachable is key to growing in godliness as a nurturer.
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Be ready to admit when you are wrong
This is about the willingness to admit you are wrong in a given matter. Tied to this point is the readiness to say these two words: I’m sorry.
Apologizing and seeking forgiveness for something wrong you’ve done against someone else reveals strength of character. Pride will keep you from ever admitting you were wrong.
This is even more critical when handling your children. Being able to apologize to your children when you’ve hurt them takes humility, an outward demonstration of inner strength. This inner strength is available when we trust God to help us.
We’re communicating to our children that we are human when we apologize to them. We are also helping them understand that we depend on God to help us to be godly.
Because children are still impressionable, they will also learn to say sorry when they hurt us, each other, or someone else.
A godly woman will admit when they are wrong and reach out to God to help them make things right with those they’ve hurt.
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Submit to and respect your husband
For a married woman, if your husband cannot testify that you are godly, then what you will do outside the home is in vain.
Godliness begins with absolute obedience to God. Part of this obedience is honoring God’s Word which commands wives to submit to their husbands and to respect them. (Eph.5:22,33)
Part of your growth in godliness will be cultivating a relationship with your husband where he feels respected and in authority over your home.
Asking God to help me respect and submit to my husband has become part of my daily prayer.
I pray because it’s not easy to submit to a husband. It’s only God who can work in me, helping me to glorify him as a wife.
I continue becoming the woman, wife, and mom, he is making me to be as he works in me.
I must remind myself that however well others think about me, this is of no consequence before God if my husband thinks I’m not respectful.
If I’m not submitting to my husband, my outward works are of no value in the sight of God.
Godliness for a wife must begin at home, where she is submitting to and respecting her husband.
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Deliberately creating legacy moments for your children
Being godly for a mom also means creating special moments with your children that open horizons for deeper fellowship and connection.
It is about creating friendships that deepen relationships. These often become the stepping stones to effective discipleship for you and your children.
This discipleship is the catalyst for growth in godliness for you and your children.
Creating legacy moments doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. It could be time in the kitchen baking a cookie recipe together. It could involve working on a project together, you may also want to create a routine that allows you to do devotion together, etc.
Creating legacy moments could also be in the form of an outdoor trip, a cup of hot chocolate at a local restaurant with them, or a vacation.
These legacy moments help us to trust the Lord to work in us and our children, especially when we are prayerful, thoughtful, and deliberate as we engage in these legacy building activities.
Creating legacy moments for our children challenges us to think not just about ourselves. We also think about others. In this case, our children.
This point leads us to the next important point.
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Live what you teach your children
More often than not, it is not what you teach and instruct your children that will impact them deeply. It is what you do that they’ll eventually emulate. If not now, later in life.
John Maxwell said that leadership by example is not one of the ways to lead, it is the only way to lead.
Teach your children to read the Bible. Be sure to be an ardent reader of your Bible.
If you want them to develop a relationship with God, you must not only teach them how to grow in this relationship, you must be in a deep and personal relationship with God. They must see you walking with God in a real and authentic way.
It’s been a blessing walking with younger women for several years now.
When I taught them a certain discipleship concept such as having Quiet Time with the Lord, it wasn’t until I demonstrated how impactful this was for me that they caught the discipline.
I would often demonstrate how I did my Quiet Time by inviting them to have a Quiet Time with the Lord with me.
This is how the lady who mentored me did. I caught the discipline because I saw her do it practically. I also saw the impact of a Quiet Time with the Lord on her life.
We can’t help but be changed when we practice what we teach. We become godly moms as God works in us.
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Deliberately teach and share the principles you’ve learned with others
God has granted me the privilege of mentoring several women through a program where we study Proverbs 31.
Each time I begin a new cohort, I remind the women that I’m also learning and growing.
I’m convinced that one of the reasons God led me to start this program is for him to continue to work in me, making me into the woman, wife, and mother he wants me to be.
Not only have I witnessed growth in the women, I have watched the Lord work in me, helping me to grow as a disciple.
Just as it is with our children where we want to ensure we are living what we are teaching them, we want to trust God for opportunities to deliberately pass on to other women what we are learning through mentorship. This stretches us to grow in godliness.
We can easily get too familiar with our children to the extent that we might sometimes not take them seriously when God uses them to cause us to grow. When it is grownups we’re interacting with, God can use this interaction to help us take our growth in godliness seriously.
These women become the accountability structure we need to grow in godliness.
As God uses us, we will keep challenging ourselves to learn and to grow, so we don’t give what we don’t have.
We also don’t want to preach water and drink wine. We want to be authentic by sharing our lives with these women, having nothing to lose, nothing to hide, and nothing to prove as we seek to live godly lives.
Has God pointed out an accountability group you can be part of, or a younger woman or two with whom you can journey in a mentoring or discipleship relationship? This might be God’s way of stretching you to grow, facilitating your growth in godliness as you walk with them.
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Be deliberate about growing in the Lord Jesus as his disciple
While this seems quite obvious. I found that not many Christians are deliberate about growing as disciples of Jesus. Among these Christians are women and moms.
Consider this statistic I recently read about from poncefoundation.com in their article, Christians Don’t Read Their Bible.
Of over 2 billion Christians in the world, less than 30% will ever read through the entire Bible. The fact is over 82% of Christian Americans only read their Bibles on Sundays while in church.
This reveals an unfortunate reality in Christendom.
This also means that not many mothers are committing to walking with Jesus as disciples. To grow as disciples, they depend on the Sunday or midweek sermon at church. They are ignorant of what it means to be a disciple.
Growing as a disciple of the Lord Jesus is about determining to walk with him and to do his will.
It’s about walking with him in the Word and prayer as a way of life. It’s about meditating on his Law (the Bible) day and night, taking it as your daily food.
A disciple understands that growing in godliness will mean fasting to seek God’s face and to embrace what God is doing, partnering with him as he transforms you.
As a mom, understanding this will be critical to your growth in godliness.
Growing as a disciple means understanding the mind of God and aligning with his will as he reveals it through His Word.
Your growth as a disciple is the foundation for living a godly life. Do not neglect your walk with God as a mother.
May you continue to grow in godliness deliberately as a Christian mom.
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