“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” (Proverbs 31:11)
The scripture above tells us that the husband of this woman has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. The KJV Version renders it this way”
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
The husband trusts this woman. Why would he trust her this way, having full confidence in her?
I want to share seven reasons why this husband would trust his wife.
- This is a woman whose security is in God
This is a woman who has learned to look to God for her overall security.
When a woman’s overall security is in God, she understands that God uses her husband to give her the security she needs. She is aware that without God, her husband is incapable of perfectly offering her security in and of himself.
She also knows that God uses her husband to meet her needs. As a result, she doesn’t place demands and expectations on her husband. She knows that just like her, he is human. He will fail, but God will never fail her. She has therefore learned to look to God to meet her needs.
He will therefore not feel threatened by her. When one isn’t feeling threatened, they will act towards fulfilling their God-ordained responsibility to take care of a wife.
A husband will up his game to meet the needs of His wife for love, acceptance, security, and affirmation.
- She makes room for her husband to lead
Most, if not all women, are highly gifted. Give a woman any role; they will outdo themselves. They will do the job excellently. Added to this fact is that many women can multi-task.
A woman can therefore develop the tendency to pick on her husband, or even a male counterpart; perhaps in her workplace or class. They can poke holes in the leadership style of the man, or their decision-making.
This can place a man and a woman on a battlefield. Rather than working towards the same goals and complementing each other, they will compete and fight.
When this happens, a husband and wife will accomplish very little at the end of the day.
A wise woman will let her husband lead. Why? Because God says so in His Word! It is the will of God that the husband leads his home and marriage.
This leadership has nothing to do with giftedness or who seems to be leading well. It is a God-ordained order for the marriage covenant.
If you want the blessing of God upon your marriage, let the husband lead. Gladly follow.
If a wife has an opposing view to a direction the husband seems to be leading the family towards, then she will raise her view with respect, even sometimes waiting for the right timing when she can tell her husband is likely to listen without feeling that his leadership is being attacked or looked down upon.
- She has learned to never disrespect her husband or even shout at him, especially in public
When Paul tells women to respect their husbands, it must be that respect is critical for the man just as love is for the woman.
Respect is about having a deep admiration for a husband. It is about guarding your heart against negativity and toxicity against a husband.
We are human as I’ve said before. There is no way your husband will perfectly be the husband you envision him to be.
A wise woman trusts God to constantly respect him regardless of whether he deserves it or not.
I pray daily, that God would enable me to respect my husband. Even when he does the dandiest of things, at least from my viewpoint, I trust the Lord to still respect him, honoring his leadership before the children, and in public before others.
- She gives her all to the marriage, regardless of whether her husband does so or not
If I were to describe a godly marriage mathematically, marriage is not about my husband and I each coming in with 50% so that we have a total of 100%.
That does not describe God’s mathematics. God’s mathematics state that I come in with 100%. My husband comes in with his 100%. We then have 100%.
When 2 are joined in marriage, before God, they become one; not two.
We each give our all to the marriage, regardless of whether the other is doing so in the way you anticipated, or not.
A husband wholly trusts the wife because he knows they are in the marriage heart, soul, and body.
What they own belongs to both. They have nothing to hide, nothing to lose, and nothing to prove.
For instance, I know of spouses who can never trust each other with their resources. Their bank accounts remain separate just as they were when they were single.
Others have kept close relationships with relatives such as a mother, or close friends, choosing to confide in these rather than their spouse. The heart of a husband will therefore not safely trust a wife in such a case.
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- She will call out his gifts, praise and affirm her husband
I don’t know of a man who will not thrive even with a little praise, especially from his wife.
When a wife treats a man as though he is her hero, (he probably is, in many ways!) making him feel as though he can conquer the world, he will often outdo himself, accomplishing much more in leading and serving his family and others.
Praise and affirmation have a way of bringing out the best in a person. A person will often work to get better than they were when they are praised.
Even constructive criticism is received well when it is preceded by plenty of praise and affirmation. A husband will trust that kind of criticism.
They will be vulnerable to share their fears and struggles when they know that you have their back; that you care for them and not against them.
- She listens to her husband
Many a man has big dreams. They need someone who can be a sounding board for their ideas. This is usually a person who they can trust.
I also know that even the quietest of women can talk, interrupt and disrupt; especially when they are in a safe environment. They can also criticize rather than positively critique an idea. I know this because I am a victim of this.
However lofty and out of this world a husband’s ideas sound, a wife must learn to listen and listen through.
Many are the times I have interrupted my husband’s talking only to be ashamed when he finished that I disrupted without having the whole picture when he finished and I had to apologize.
A husband’s heart will trust when they know you will listen, pray and think through his thoughts and ideas, and hopefully support him in implementing them when it is time to do so.
Learning the art of really listening to others, then giving feedback that reveals you listened, is needed in the body of Christ. It’s not only needed in marriage, but in ministering deeply to others. Let’s trust God to grow in our ability to really listen to others.
- She is wisely vulnerable
Being wisely vulnerable is allowing a husband to take up responsibilities that accentuate his feeling needed in the home.
Some certain tasks and activities were traditionally known to have been done by the men in the family.
Because women have gone to school, even living alone for a while before getting married, we have learned to carry out certain tasks and responsibilities ourselves.
I learned to get on the floor and unblock a blocked sink. Fixing a damaged fuse was something I’d also learned to do.
I remember my husband reminding me that I was married. I could ask for help in carrying out certain tasks.
We want to trust God to practice what I’m calling wise vulnerability. This is where I let my husband take care of the family in carrying out some of the tasks I might even be able to do myself.
I believe a husband will feel respected and needed when you do this. I suppose anyone would!
This also includes not criticizing his attempts at carrying out a task you may probably do better. If it is at least over 50% done, he will get better.
Feeling needed enhances one’s sense of self-worth and respect. It does so to a husband, who will gladly reciprocate by loving his wife and honoring her.
These are just some of the things a wife can do to have her husband trust her. I pray they can be helpful in your journey of being the wife God wants you to be.